I haven't seen the movie yet, but my head is still full of Sex and the City. I was invited to go to the opening night with some friends from my adult ballet class. Unfortunately, I couldn't go. I was so disappointed. Lots of groups of friends are going dressed in character. And then going out for a drink or dinner. I think that is great. Perhaps I can still find some friends to go with. I'm hearing that the movie is complex and that there are many ups and downs for each of the four women. And I'm beginning to be concerned about Carrie's wedding. Does it really take place? No, don't tell me. I have to live it for myself.
I've read commentary that Sex and the City is all about the power of friendship between women. I agree, yet as a positive psychologist in practice for over 25 years, I betieve that it is also about the desire and need on a women's part to find ways to come into her own as a person while still holding on to the valuable parts of her earlier self. This is a profound issue in development. We go through the process again and again. For example, in my book, The Truth, I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything, the girl is desperately trying to find a way to hold on to herself as she begins to grow and change, heading straight for adolescense. She already feels the power of the shift toward what my radio guest from last week, on Kids, Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three, called "The Storm." She is afraid and confused and yet the storm is coming. It has to. And it is the same with the developmental stages of adulthood. Getting married, even living with a guy, having a baby, all of these steps force us into dilemmas, both real and metaphysical that make us less steady, at least for a way with our core identities. A new mother simply can not 'run five miles every day' necessarily, even though for years that may have felt like an integral part of her. A wife will be dealing with a new deck of emotional cards that include not just her husband, but her in-laws, her husband's best friends, etc.
So I am fascinated to see how Carrie and her friends deal with their identities as they move forward in time and situations. Meanwhile, time is passing. I better see when and who I am going with! I'll keep you posted. Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com
